Today I had a profound conversation. A conversation that I wish I never had, not because of who I was talking with, but because I simply wish the events had never occured. I was talking to another teacher friend of mine over lunch and it came up that her younger brother had died of cancer when he was just 14 years old. He died back in the "forbidden years". What are the forbidden years, you may ask. The forbidden years, a term I just made up, were the years when people whispered about "cancer". I just learned about these years today, at lunch. When my friend's brother died it was back in the early 70's (I think). When people learned that he had cancer, many people turned their backs. It sounded like it was forbidden to have cancer. When he died, and the family went to church, the minister actually said, "He died because you must have sinned." (or something to that extent). Can you imagine? There was more, the school refuse to let him wear a hat and take his books home to make up work. My friend lost some of her close friends and boyfriend at the time. She let me know not everyone was like this, but the fact even 1 person was blows me away. I really don't get it, I don't understand. And, to be a little selfish here, I am so thankful the world has changed.
And the world has changed! We now shout about cancer, kicking and screaming and fighting for a cure. We have shirts, and bumper stickers, and professional athletes wearing pink, and walks, and runs, and dinners, and fundraisers, and TV shows, and websites, and organizations, and lunches, and so much more. As far as support, not one person has turned their back on me, instead I have had an army march forward. And if people whisper the word "cancer" it's as a joke, and now I get the context. I only wish the world was shouting the word cancer when my friend's brother was sick. I really wish it, with all my heart.
But this gives me hope. I guess we could use the term the forbidden years for many things. We could use the term to describe the times before Civil Rights, when blacks were living under the Jim Crow Laws and forbidden to mix with whites. We could use the term to describe the times when gay people had no rights and it was forbidden to even be gay. We could use the term to describe how many people felt about immigration when America was just beginning, forbidding the entrance of various people. Why do we instantly forbid? Why not instantly accept? We might still be fighting for some of these things mentioned above, but the world is changing. And if the world is changing, I still have hope that people won't judge or exclude or hurt other people who are sick, different, or hard to understand.
Told you I had a profound conversation at lunch.
