Chemo Brain is real... I forget everything! I am trying to adjust to my new memory problems. But the thing is... I forget that I forget, so it all kinda works out. I forget who I tell stories to, I forget who called or who texted me, I think of something then I forget what it was I was thinking, and it goes on and on. I overheard a lady in the treatment waiting room say something to the effect of, "I hate forgetting everything because of these stupid drugs!" She just kinda screamed it out, not sure if she was even talking to someone or if she just wanted to make a blanket statement to the world.
So, I'm trying to deal with it in many ways...
1) I write every plan I might have down in my pocket calendar
2) I check my calendar multiple times a day
3) I revisit texts and voicemail
4) Anything really important I tell my family or friends to text me or call me to remind me what I have to do
5) Before I start telling a story, I ask if I have already told it to that particular person
6) I have to slow way down and think a lot more than I ever have had to in the past
7) There are more things I do, but I can't remember them right now
Then there are the hot flashes! I get anywhere from about 5-10 in a 24 hour time period. I'm getting used to them, but it does hurt my sleeping. I wake up various times a night.
I also must mention the steroids. It's now 2:06 am and I am not the least bit tired. On the days I get treatments they pump me so full of (oh, hot flash as I'm typing this) steroids that I don't sleep at all on Thursday nights. Now that I know this, I don't even try. I have already watched the late shows, and now I'm on the computer writing this. I plan to read or watch a movie after I finish writing.
Despite these three side effects, and the various others, it's still nothing compared to AC Chemo. It still sucks, as it is chemo and I never feel great, BUT it's a joy compared to what I went through!
Changing the subject drastically:
I just returned from a wonderful three days at the lake. I went down with some friends from work, one of those friends being Erin. Erin was the one in the ICU for many weeks with a rare lung disease. She is getting stronger and stronger by the day, and we all had so much fun swimming and talking and playing games together. It just makes me realize how fortunate I am to still have her in my life. We never know what can happen day by day. Take that extra time to really appreciate the ones you love while you can. I know that sounds very cliché, but sometimes we get lazy or so wrapped up in our own lives we forget about those closest to us. Spending the week at the lake with these friends lifted my spirits. I am inspired by Erin and all she has had to endure, while still laughing and smiling every step of the way. Thanks for being you my friend!
That's all for now... AS you might be able to tell, the steroids not only keep me awake, they keep me chatty!