Snow day! Number 4 this year. Can’t say that I’m complaining! But, I do have my MRI today and I was really nervous of how I’d get my car out of the snow! (It was totally covered and the plows threw all the snow around it as well) I thought it would take me a while to dig out of the 7+ inches of snow. I just looked out the window again and realized my neighbors not only cleared my car, and my walkway, but they also shoveled a pathway for my car to get out! I’m sooooo thankful and realize there is kindness all around! The world would be a better place if we all stopped and did something good to help our neighbors! THANK YOU, I appreciate it more than you will ever know! I also want to thank all of you for the kind thoughts and prayers. I know I’m on many of your prayer lists, and I appreciate that as well! I am still overwhelmed at all of the love, support and kindness coming my way!
So, guess I have some time to write an entry, since I don’t have to worry about my car. This one will be a bit different from the others. I’m going to try and get away from all this bad news and focus on trying to entertain. I have had a few conversations/e-mails recently that have got me thinking. One of my mom’s dear friends wrote me and asked if I am using what I have learned from my travels to help me. I didn’t even have to think about an answer because it was instinct- yes! All of my travels have taught me to embrace the unknown, not to fear it. Even though what I am facing now is far from what I would like to make known, I know somehow I will learn and grow from this experience. Of course there are days I’m really angry or sad, but there are days of calm as well.
I have books and books full of stories and entries from my travels, and I have never really shared any of them. I think it’s because once I return home, what I have experienced seems so far away. I’m going to share one now, of embracing the unknown… Kinda nervous to get it out there, but here we go!
I remember the heat. Stepping out of the run-down pickup truck, painted with scenes of Honolulu. The beach… yet being nowhere near what the chipped blue paint depicted. The beads of sweat were forming on my brow, but it wasn’t hot enough for them to take movement and free my face for the ground. There we stood, surrounded by dirt, trash, and beautiful sky. I thought to myself, ‘at least we haven’t yet destroyed the sky’. A goat ran past, then a few dogs, next came the noise. Another truck screechily stopped at the sight of my thumb, picked us up, and took us somewhere else- exactly the same. At the second drop off we found a small bungalow to rent for the night. Lighting, smoking, then dropping our last cigarettes*, we headed for the hole- infested hut. Nothing but the best…
We dropped our packs, locked the door, and headed for the restaurant. The heat still swallowing us whole. We were greeted by six dogs, lapping up whatever was left on that kitchen floor, and a cat- licking the freezer. I suppose it was her closest substitution for water. Suddenly we weren’t hungry any more. We looked at each other and backed away from the door. It was only then that we noticed the screams in the distant background. It wasn’t an alarming type of scream, but the passionate, World Cup, exciting type of scream. We followed the voices. We came across a small wooden table inhabited by an older man hunched over his opened beer. He grinned a toothless smile and sat up as soon as he saw us approaching. He started mumbling in Pilipino while swaying back and forth, his eyes never straying from mine. We each handed him 50 pesos after some gesturing and pointing, and entered through the metal doors. We had no idea what we had just paid for or what we were about to see.
Instantly we were surrounded by hundreds of men intently and competitively looking through glass walls into a ring containing two vicious cocks. My first cock fight. We were shoved to the front row, and encircled by toothless men and rings of smoke. Now, the sweat on my face was as free to fall as the losing cock. Money began to pass hands, screams were released and caught by all involved. Angry birds, blood infested feathers, sights of defeat, and smiles of victory came with each match. Fight until death. One bird after another, broken and defeated. The other, broken but alive. I found myself smiling, not at the scenes of death, but captivated by all the motion surrounding me. The noise, the smells, the smiles, and the sighs. Money flew from one side to the other, exchanging hands. And, us, sitting among it all- vastly out of place yet overwhelmingly welcomed. I was handed a cigarette which I began to smoke. I pulled a small wad of money from my pocket and began screaming and pointing at, what I thought, would be the winning bird. I was watching the every lunge of each bird until my bird was the only one left standing. All of a sudden people were patting my back in congratulations and sweat saturated bills were being thrust into my hands. I won. Two new birds, and this time came a cold beer. I bet again. Those in the crowd laughed and followed my lead. More blood this time, until my bird fell dead with a snap of the neck. I cursed and handed over my bets to those around. Again and again we bet, money moving back and forth. Until suddenly it was over.
It ended as quickly as I had been thrust into it. Within minutes we were back by the dirt road, and everyone had vanished. I still don’t know where everyone went so quickly. We walked back to our place, stopping briefly at a roadside bar for a beer. The warm breeze slowly began to dry my face and shirt, while my hand was enjoying the cold of the beer. We sipped out of our bottles while laughing at our surroundings. I began to wonder how I got to some of the places I did. How I ended up seeing the things I did. The world moved and I was always content to let it take me where it may. Cock fight, I thought… Okay.
Instantly we were surrounded by hundreds of men intently and competitively looking through glass walls into a ring containing two vicious cocks. My first cock fight. We were shoved to the front row, and encircled by toothless men and rings of smoke. Now, the sweat on my face was as free to fall as the losing cock. Money began to pass hands, screams were released and caught by all involved. Angry birds, blood infested feathers, sights of defeat, and smiles of victory came with each match. Fight until death. One bird after another, broken and defeated. The other, broken but alive. I found myself smiling, not at the scenes of death, but captivated by all the motion surrounding me. The noise, the smells, the smiles, and the sighs. Money flew from one side to the other, exchanging hands. And, us, sitting among it all- vastly out of place yet overwhelmingly welcomed. I was handed a cigarette which I began to smoke. I pulled a small wad of money from my pocket and began screaming and pointing at, what I thought, would be the winning bird. I was watching the every lunge of each bird until my bird was the only one left standing. All of a sudden people were patting my back in congratulations and sweat saturated bills were being thrust into my hands. I won. Two new birds, and this time came a cold beer. I bet again. Those in the crowd laughed and followed my lead. More blood this time, until my bird fell dead with a snap of the neck. I cursed and handed over my bets to those around. Again and again we bet, money moving back and forth. Until suddenly it was over.
It ended as quickly as I had been thrust into it. Within minutes we were back by the dirt road, and everyone had vanished. I still don’t know where everyone went so quickly. We walked back to our place, stopping briefly at a roadside bar for a beer. The warm breeze slowly began to dry my face and shirt, while my hand was enjoying the cold of the beer. We sipped out of our bottles while laughing at our surroundings. I began to wonder how I got to some of the places I did. How I ended up seeing the things I did. The world moved and I was always content to let it take me where it may. Cock fight, I thought… Okay.
The Philippines. January 2000
*Never been a smoker- don’t want people who might not know me very well to think that. Those of you who are smokers, including the person I was traveling with in this story- (QUIT!)
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